November 29, 2016: A Note on Pets

November 29, 2016: A Note on Pets; and Androp Gerard is not quite an Idiot Savant

“Our house, is a very, very fine house with two cats and a dog….” exactly like the line in the Crosby, Stills & Nash song.  As an aside, regarding that quote, Androp Gerard has consumed precious little pop culture in his life, but he remembers more of what he has consumed than he wishes to.  This includes lyrics of songs and lines and scenes from movies.  He is somewhat of an idiot savant along these lines.  He fails to satisfy the definition by not being nearly enough of a savant and not being quite enough of an idiot.  Possibly, the vivid recall of movie scenes accounts for Androp’s aversion to violent movies: he relives every horrifying, emotionally distressing detail.  Disturbing images are being suppressed as this is written.

Our house has two cats & a dog.  People treat pets like children or friends.  Talking to them is like meditation.

Here is the question: why do so many humans keep and love pets?  In broad terms, it seems like this might be because (1) people imagine they have human to human relationships with their pets, and (2) pet care occupies a human’s mind, and provides purpose.

Pets can be imagined as children.  For example, a sibling of Androp Gerard named their dog “Baby.”  Or pets may serve as friends.  It seems easier to think of a dog as a child than a cat.  Cats serve the role of non-needy friendly acquaintances.  After all, cats can leave and go feral at any time but dogs need their human associates (“parents?”), at least in the USA.

Talking to a pet occupies a human mind, so is more or less like mindfulness, or medication.  And caring for a pet is a job, so provides purpose.

This dog will piddle on the carpet if Androp fails to take it for a walk early each morning.  Pets provide humans with a job.

Me, before light, early A.M., dog getting out from under covers, shaking, “It is too early.  Goddamit.  Go back under the covers.”

Dog, from my imagination, “Okay, I am going to jump down now and piddle on the carpet.”

Me, dog licking my hand, “Jesus H. Christ.  I am going to get up and pee myself now. Stay on the bed.”  I point a menacing finger at the dog and look it in the eye.

Dog, from my imagination, “You have 60 seconds.  Then I am going to jump down and piddle.  I will select as spot you will certainly step on.”

So that gets me out of bed every morning to walk the dog before it piddles on the rug.  Then I have to feed the two cats and the dog.  Then, lovely espresso/lattes.

It is never a problem of wondering why to get out of bed in the morning if you own a dog.  Dog pee cannot be effectively removed from carpet and the associated backing.


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