November 20, 2016: Baby Barfing; The Need for Driers; Secret to Cooking

November 20, 2016

Under Unusual Events: the wife got barfed on by our 2-year-old grandchild twice over the week-end, once in the middle of the night Friday and once on Saturday around noon.  The volume was impressive.  Kid is not as big as a minute, but a good 12 oz. of liquid was ejected in both episodes, with each episode consisting of multiple, horrible, spurts.  Kid was fine by Saturday afternoon.  Wife was as good as could be hoped for.  I am resisting putting in a picture of a toddler throwing up here.  You are welcome.

Here’s one of the interesting things: I was pretty much unable to make my brain work much when I awoke from a dead sleep after the Friday night episode.  The auto sub-routines like walking were functional, but ‘executive’ thought was difficult.  WTF should I do?  Clean crib.  Strip crib. Get new sheets? Where from? What was I looking for?  Sheets.  What is this stuff I’m holding?  It stinks.  Laundry.  Wife needs new clothes.

Kid seemed to go back to sleep almost immediately.  Apparently, hurling is not enough to wake a sleeping 2-year-old … kid’s brain probably was still turned off just like mine …

This brings up laundry.  The wife says I cannot dry shirts, pants, sweatshirts, sweatpants, sweaters, shorts, etc, because they will shrink, or will get misshapen, or will get too wrinkly.  Basically, I am only supposed to dry socks and underwear.

Me, “We only dry underwear and socks.  Am I right?”

Wife, “What?”

Me, “We probably do no not need a drier.  We do not need to ever wear underwear, and seldom need socks.  Am I right?”

Wife – shakes head, left to right.

Me, “You want me to shut up.  Am I right?”

Wife – shakes head, up and down.

socks-and-underwear

 

 

At Androp Gerard’s house, only socks and underwear are dried in a drier.  Underwear is always optional, and socks need be worn only sporadically.  Therefore, our home needs no drier.

 

 

So much for buying a new bike instead of a new drier when this one breaks.

In culinary news, I made classic chicken noodle soup from the Betty Crocker recipe for Sunday dinner.  Hint: stay away from Internet recipes.  Like everything else on the Internet, they are un-vetted.  You are lucky if those recipes work.  And when recipes do not work, it tends to piss a person off horribly, speaking for myself.  Plus the pop-up and pop-over adds make it impossible to read the recipe.  Plus, wow, the recipes with picture after picture are fricking impossible to follow.  Now, I also say this: recipes in some book that some random person published are also suspect.  So just be careful: about 79% of all Internet and ‘random cookbook’ recipes DO NOT WORK.

Anyway, there was no parsley so I used oregano and sage from my garden and basil and a little bit of thyme instead.  So really what I made was not a classic recipe at all.  But the structural methodology from Betty Crocker was certainly adhered to.  I also added one TBL of fresh lemon juice and one tsp of sugar.

Here’s my philosophy on cooking: every dish you make should have at least two from these three primary flavorings: fat, salt, and sweet.  Additionally, one or both of the secondary flavorings, tart and hot, can be added to every dish.  Never add salt without adding sweet or visa versa.  Trust me.

If entertaining guests, ALWAYS eat later than you said, so people will have time to drink and get hungry.  Hungry drunks always like whatever you feed them.  If feeding the family, be ready early, or you get yelled at and feel guilty when the everyone tells you how hungry they are when they want to eat EARLY.  Guests never do that kind of thing.

cooking

Androp Gerard’s Secret to Cooking: Primary flavorings (blue) are fat, salt, and sweet.  Secondary flavorings (orange) are tart and hot.  Every dish should have at least two primary flavorings added.

I managed to avoid news all week-end until Sunday night, when I looked at the NPR and BBC News apps for 20 minutes.  The Political Brief: Trump Tweets at Alec Baldwin and the cast of Hamilton because they were being mean to him and his buddy.  Appoints known racist as AG; Koch brothers lap dog as C.I.A. Director, and total idiot as NSA adviser.  Democrats continue to blame themselves for Trump’s election; attempt empathy with known racists.  So nothing that was unexpected happened.

Next post: Sports and Religion.

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